jan 26

when life feels unfair

it is about times when you can't really control what is about to happen. it's really not. life presents us the most unexpected happenings and you can't do much about that. i really think i messed it up really badly. this is something i never imagined.

i tried whatever i could at certain points but you never know how you're gonna be interpreted. i respect that. it really matters how one feels about a thing. it's almost the case that everyone thinks they're right about themselves. like how they think they're right and i think i'm right, maybe?

but one thing that worries me the most is, i never thought of getting over someone I only had good thoughts for. it terrifies me the most. it feels like i can't do the same again for anyone else.

was i mistaken? i guess, yes. did i try to let them get to know me once, most probably - yes. did i try to understand their feelings - i guess, yes.

i am almost convinced that life is really unfair sometimes. it's like a parabolic curve. everything is going well, and suddenly something happens to you and it's just worse. this is how i feel right now.

i guess i can't do anything at this point. i feel shaken. i feel guilty. i feel it's really really hard to let someone know what it means to lose someone you have all the memories and dreams for.

it's just hard. life is hard.